Absurd Charges Part 8 - Drink Sleeping

This Week's Actual Example

It's your 21st birthday. You're celebrating with friends at a nightclub in the city. It's 3am, and you've been drinking since lunchtime the previous day - you need a break! Your friends aren't ready to go - the party's still jumping...no lift home yet...what to do?  "Why don't you crash out in Ralph's car?", they all say. "Great idea", you say. Ralph gives you the keys, you wander outside. Thankfully, the car's nearby.

Now Ralph, it seems, has been kicked out by his girlfriend. He lives in his car. The only room is in the driver's seat. You unlock the door, jump in, put the seat back as far as it will go and pass out.

5am - loud bashing on the window. Flashlight. You wipe the drool from your gob and sit up. Cops! "Open the door, NOW!"

You're asleep, the car has not moved for 7 hours, the keys are in your pocket, it's not even your car - and yet, you're charged with high-range drink driving - because you're "in control of the vehicle".

Happy 21st...

Absurd Charges Part 6 - The Smoking Gun

This Week's Actual Example

It's a sunny suburban Saturday morning. Your car's getting a service. The wife comes home from shopping and you borrow her car to visit a mate. Random breath test. "Ha! I'm sober! Happy to blow into the bag". The police are bored, mechanical, lethargic - just doing their job, you tell yourself. But then, suddenly, they're yelling, screaming, drawing their guns - pointing them at you! They're dragging you from your car. "Get up against the wall!" Handcuffs are out, your arms are being twisted painfully. You're bewildered, frightened, in shock. What they hell could this be? Why are they doing this? You struggle to get your arms free. "What are you doing? You're breaking my arms! What the f&%%$$##@ are you doing!" More police, rushing in. You blackout as they jump on you, crushing you to the ground.

The two plastic toy guns are still in the packet, sitting on the backseat where your wife had left them after shopping at Woolworths that morning. They came with "authentic cowboy holsters" with genuine imitation cowskin - top of the line at $6.99 a piece.  But your two young sons won't be playing Cowboys and Indians with these beauties today- they're now evidence in the case against you for assault police, resist arrest and possession of  replica weapons! (yes, this really happened...)

What's Wrong with this Scenario?

Woolworths may charge a bit too much, and yes, they often don't have enough staff on weekends - but Arms Dealers to children??!! Surely not!

Court Dude's Solution

Only two ways to go here - either ban children from playing Cowboys and Indians and make it a criminal offence to supply them with arms, or - employ smarter police who can tell the difference between a replica weapon and a plastic cowboy gun in a fake-cowskin holster.

There's always playstation...

Absurd Charges Part 5 - What's My Scene?

 

Ever had a car accident where no-one else was involved? It might be an interesting scene, but you've gotta leave sometime, right? Wrong...


This Week's Actual Example

You're out on the road late at night, alone, in your brand new convertible. Wind in your hair, strong moonlight guiding your way through the winding country road. You're not speeding, but you take a corner and there is a cow, middle of road. The controls are unfamiliar - you lose it. You end up in a paddock after bouncing off some trees. Your beautiful new car is totaled, but you're ok. No fences damaged, no-one else involved, no-one around for miles. Just a few cows, staring, glaring.

No mobile reception. What to do? Although you're not badly injured, your head hurts and you wonder if you should get to the hospital to get checked out. Start walking. No houses, no lights. An hour later, mobile reception. Head still hurts. Ring a friend, visit hospital, get head checked out. 2AM - go home to sleep, deal with car in morning...

4AM - "Police! Open up!"  You're charged with negligent driving, and - leaving the scene of an accident.

What's Wrong With This Scenario?

"What the f##@@!! else was I supposed to do!?", would be the first comment to come to mind. Wait there all night?  Run to the nearest police station to hand myself in for not damaging anything but my own car in a genuine accident? You must be kidding? No, they're not...

Court Dude's Solution

Once again - police education.

An accident can happen with no negligence involved at all on the part of the driver. This is not rocket surgery, and yet the logic seems to escape many Boys And Girls In Blue. Someone needs to tell them this...someone needs to learn 'em.

And - at some point, EVERYONE leaves the scene of their accident. If they didn't, they'd be there FOREVER, right?  It's not a crime unless you do it to avoid prosecution and the consequences of your actions...someone needs to tell the police this, too, it seems.