Egyptian Fashion Liberated After 30 Years of Oppression

Arab Spring...Fashion.

Well, after rising up against a dictator, electing a dude who was in prison, arresting the dude who was in prison for breaking out of prison in the first place, and generally getting VERY confused about what this whole democracy thing means, Egypt may be about to elect yet another Military Strongman, Field Marshal Abdul Fattah al-Sisi, who seems quite happy to go along with it...

BUT:

Looking back at the highlights of the short-lived "Arab Spring", there were some truly ground-breaking combat fashion moments when the rocks started to fly...

Not yet seen on the catwalk or even at the Melbourne Cup, this well thought out arrangement is ready-to-wear and cools the head during those sweaty street battles...

 This Cairo milliner has tapped into the little known but powerfully hypnotic synergies between the kitchen pot and the life-jacket, culminating in a highly aesthetic yet practical statement that says "It doesn't matter what kind of shit goes down here today, boys - I'm ready!"

Using only his mum's scarf and the battered hubcap of an ancient Roman chariot, this enthusiast has drawn the link between past and present with one bold leap of logic - and protected his noggin in the process.

If you have to throw a tuna sandwich at a murderous gang of government thugs, you may as well do it in style. Easily adjustable for estimating range and not running into poles, this classic pot-plant-with-split number goes with just about anything.

After making spectacular use of something that nearly knocked his block off a few minutes before, this bloke has now been approached by interests in Paris and Milan to do a line of besa brick and concrete ensembles for the spring shows. An austere creation with a spare elegance, but not recommended for lengthy outings or swimming events.  Asked for comment as to his inspiration, he modestly replied "It's just something I threw on!"

Despite the serious doubts of his best friend, this thrifty gentleman has managed to achieve a low cost angular masterpiece of box couture that will resonate with buyers at the lower end of the market. Can also be used to collect your rocks at half-time.

 In what can only be described as a blinding flash of creative necessity, this absolute genius has single-handedly invented Bagelwear. The Baguette-Ear-Protection-System ("BEPS") (Patent Pending) is part of the uprising's overall Let-Them-Wear-Bread theme and will be hard to beat on the catwalk this year. Guaranteed to stop half a brick at 40 paces, and you can chew on it later when the dust settles.  Court Dude's favourite.

Viva la Revolution! (next time it might actually even work...)